A friend of mine is a die hard Jets fan. His younger brother a die hard Packers fan.
-On July 27th, when rumors of Favre to the Jets began, my friend sent me the following message: “If favre goes to the jets **** (his younger brother) will literally be in tears. Can’t wait for that announcement.”
-On August 6th, two minutes after the trade announcement, I got the following:”J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS!!!”
-So Jets fans are excited for a year or two of Favre, even if it may tear their families apart. Enjoy the NFL season!
Welcome back to Shitting on Your Team after our summer hiatus… and today is the day that could make Red Sox fans cringe as their team looks to deal away Cooperstown bound Manny Ramirez, he of the 500+ homeruns/confusing outfield shenanigans.
But the question remains, has Manny really fallen so far that it’s come down to the Marlins and the Pirates putting together a deal involving him? The Marlins? The Pirates? Teams that continue to trade away top talent in favor of prospects, who they will develop and trade away for prospects? It’s a strange world…
Could you have imagined a couple of years ago that the Phillies would be uninterested in trading Pat Burrell straight up for the future Hall of Famer? Sure Pat the Bat is having a pretty darn good year, but what happened to the Manny Ramirez who actually seemed worth his inflated contract in an era of wasted inflated contracts (see: Giambi, Jason and Brown, Kevin).
That said, Manny’s stats have dropped considerably in the last two years. Gone, it seems, are the days of 45 HRS and 140 RBIs, with only the mid-play fan high fives, confusing ESPN Deportes interviews, and of course Red Sox employee abuse.
But the bigger question is this… if Manny gets his freedom next year, either by playing out the year with the Red Sox and hitting free agency after, or by getting traded to the Marlins and then hitting free agency after, will anybody be interested in signing a 37 year old to a $25 million/year deal (reportedly what he’s hoping for)?
He knows that this winter — when he’s 36, turning 37 next May — he has a better chance of scoring the four-year, $100M deal he has told teammates he can get than he will after the
2010 season, when he’ll be 38 turning 39. He doesn’t want to have to sweat for two years at a measly $20M, and everyone knows that he couldn’t care less how he gets that $100M, even if it means sitting out and leaving “family” fighting it out without him.
Manny is right. The Red Sox are tired of him. They are not going to pick up the option for 2009 and spend one more year as his prisoner. What he wants is to go to another team, on which he can put up big numbers for two months and either get that new contract, or go out on the market. Rationally, one would think he could do that in Boston — first help the Red Sox into the postseason, then hit the market.
The last time in recent memory that a baseball player was as hyped as Jay Bruce of the Cincinnati Reds, Alex Rodriguez was suiting up for the Mariners as an 18 year old rookie. Since then, A-Rod’s career has been astounding statistically, but he’s acquired more critics than fans. Is it over-exposure? Do we really like being told who to worship before the stats warrant it?
We’re about to find out… From ESPN.com, 21 year old Reds RF Jay Bruce’s stats through 6 games…
Also, note Bruce’s season long projections if he continues to hit at a .591 clip…
2008 Season Stats
SPLITS
G
AB
R
H
2B
3B
HR
RBI
BB
SO
SB
CS
AVG
OBP
SLG
OPS
Season
6
22
10
13
3
0
2
6
6
1
2
1
.591
.690
1.000
1.690
Career
6
22
10
13
3
0
2
6
6
1
2
1
.591
.690
1.000
1.690
Last 7
6
22
10
13
3
0
2
6
6
1
2
1
.591
.690
1.000
1.690
Projected
111
407
185
240
56
0
37
111
111
19
37
19
.591
.690
1.000
1.690
Oh, but here’s where the shitting on his team comes in… Bruce really will have to be a Baseball Jesus for the Reds to have any chance this year… Even winning 5 of their last 6 with Bruce in the lineup, the Reds are still a game under .500 and 8 games back of the Cubs.
Tonight they’ll begin an important road trip against the NL East leading Phillies, followed by the surprisingly competitive Marlins. On the hill tonight for your Reds, the multi-talented Bronson Arroyo…
UPDATE: Monday, June 2nd - The Phillies beat the Reds 5-4 behind Chase Utley’s major league leading 21st HR, but Bruce continued his hot hitting, going 2-4 with another HR (his 3rd in 7 games).
Sorry for the delay in between posts, but I’ve been a little “under the weather.” But the wait is over, and today I will bring you something über special considering I happen to have a lot of time on my hands.
The NBA Finals dream matchup was solidified last night when the Celtics came back from double digits in the fourth to capture their first trip to the NBA finals since (I believe) 1986. This sent the NBA world spinning into a dizzy of awesomeness.
We are finally getting a REAL NBA Finals! The past few finals have been met little to no anticipation. Spurs v. Cavs? Heat v. Mavs?
Lakers v. Celtics Lakers v. Celtics Lakers v. Celtics
Now that’s what i’m talkin’ about. So in honor of the first true NBA finals in a GREAT LONG WHILE, lets break down the history between these two teams, along with some of the most amazing moments from previous finals. [Read more →]
If HBO’s Entourage were real life, Robert Horry would be the Johnny Drama of the NBA. He has his moments, he’s hit big shots, but in reality his stats say that’s he’s nothing but mediocre (7.0 points, 4.8 rebounds and 2.1 assists per game in 16 seasons) ESPN did a puff piece making the case for him to be included in the hall of fame.
I say thanks for the shot Bob, but in the end I think you’re gonna be more remembered for your hip check on Steve Nash that busted up his beak in the Western Conference Semifinals and killed the Suns title hopes.
Sometimes NFL fans get way too into the draft. It happens. This year, I can admit that I did. As an Eagles fan excited at the possibility of the Eagles drafting a WR not named Freddie Mitchell, I scoured the mock drafts for weeks to familiarize myself with the highest rated WRs out there.
My consensus from that research was the following:
The Eagles lacked a tall Randy Moss-esque red zone threat. Somebody McNabb could toss it up to, not even accurately as sometimes happens, and he’d come down with it for a TD.
Naturally, James Hardy of Indiana, listed as 6′7″ and 215 more than fit that mold. I even saw him go to the Eagles in a few mock drafts and almost all of them referenced legendarily tall Eagles receiver Harold Carmichael in doing so.
On the other end of the spectrum, I figured that DeSean Jackson, listed as 6′0″ and 166 was exactly what the Eagles didn’t need - another small, fast WR who might struggle against big NFL cornerbacks jamming him at the line.
Obviously, the Eagles selected Jackson and I’m stuck convincing myself that he’ll be the next Steve Smith instead of the next Jeremy Bloom.
But now comes the news that James Hardy, who I never saw highlighted in the wide range of pre-draft speculation I researched as a “character problem” is having some legal issues. First, I stumbled upon news of Hardy’s 2006 arrest.
A probable cause affidavit states Hardy struck his girlfriend of seven years and their infant son.
That’s right. Hardy may have punched an infant.
The charges were eventually dropped - I’m not sure how unless the girlfriend lied, but what could Hardy’s excuse have been? Is there really ever an excuse for baby punching? I would think even being accused of something like would cause a guy to get his act together.
FORT WAYNE, Ind. (WIVB) - A football player drafted by the Buffalo Bills this year reportedly had a run-in with the law.
According to an Indiana newspaper, wide receiver James Hardy pulled a gun on his father during an altercation over the weekend.
Note the date on the article - May 13, 2008. That’s right, on Mother’s Day weekend, Hardy pulled a gun on his father. Good times.
Note that the Indiana Daily Student is rooting for Hardy to get his act together in order to have a successful NFL career. But one thing is for sure, I’m glad he’s not an Eagle.
Just thought I’d let everyone (Yankee haters) know that Baltimore and the NY Yankees are battling for last in AL East. Loser takes all. Good thing they have a $200 million dollar payroll.
UPDATE: It’s official, Yanks took a good ‘ol fashioned sphincter scraping from the Orioles 6-1. Roger has good form… it’s probably from bangin that country singer / ex-con.
I’m always delayed due to the tivo-factor, so tune in here for a delayed analysis of the WCF.
I am starting the game around 6pm PST.
-Mike: What was up with the Linkin Park/Busta Rhymes Mashup intro song?
-Dale: I wonder how many times we’re going to see Tyler Perry’s House of Payne Commercials tonight (1)
1st Quarter
9:24 Duncan’s Dirty Bank Shot®
9:17 Kobe hits his second jumper… He always knows when we need a hoop
8:59 Vlad has been a no-show most of the playoffs, but you can tell in the first quarter the Lakers always try to get him going. It just never works…
8:24 Kobe is 3 for 3… you know this is a series pseudo-clinching game.
Comment: “Oberto would quality as a #1 creepy rapist looking fool in the NBA” - dale
Comment: The sound is really good inside the Spurs arena. As soon as I say this, Ginobili gets in the game to a huge cheer.
7:13 Horrific Spurs pass… the more i see them running their offense, the more I realize they don’t have one.
6:52 I don’t know how Tony Parker gets into the lane so easily every time. It makes no sense!
6:00 Gasol and Duncan have really nice post games and they show it in back to back jump hooks which don’t even scrape the rim. Marv and Doug are commenting about how Gasol has played like a huge fucking Vag lately.
Comment: Man every time Craig Sager comes on I cringe. His segments are worthless and add nothing. The only thing he’s good for are douche chill moments between himself and Phil Jackson.
Comment: Lt. David Robinson… wtf?
5:04 Odom has been playing out of his mind lately. Another put back
4:34 Kobe torches Bowen with a crossover for a two handed dunk. I am feinin’ for more Laker dunks.
3:39 Spurs hit back to back threes- they needed that. You can tell they are ready to play tonight. Ginobili is playing much better already.
3:00 Lakers run the triangle to perfection again. Once Kobe runs the screen and roll with Gasol, it leaves Odom open in the middle 9/10 times. As soon as Gasol throws it in, Odom is making his strong cut for a dunk/foul. Odom gets the foul but of course goes 1 for 2 at the line. Sasha also gets in… LA MACHINEEEEEEE (remind me to explain this sometime)
2:24 Gasol makes another nice jump hook. He’s used both hands from multiple directions.
1:56 Curious travel call… not sure if he took too many steps or not.
1:52 Nice Sasha closeup…. He got that headband from one of the Laker girls.
1:16 Farmar makes a deep contested three from the strongside. He is a completely different player since that Utah series. I don’t know if Deron Williams owned him that bad or what, but his hair might have had something to do with it.
2nd Quarter
11:32 Lakers start out with a nice 3 second call- I love it.
11:16 Every team screams like they’ve been raped every time down the court. I’m just saying…
10:50 Kurt Thomas nails a 15 footer. Every shot he takes is a shot closer to his death.
10:22 Lakers get owned with a 24 second violation.
9:55 Turiaf jumper. What up.
9:07 Spurs take a 1 point lead off a nice TP layup.
8:44 Borderline offensive foul on Turiaf right when the Spurs are getting some momentum.
But the big question still remains… who is his seller? Stay tuned for the mugshot…
And now for an idea that’s been done before, please enjoy The Shitting on Your Team All-Stoner Starting Five… current players only…
G Allen Iverson …Look out for O.J. Mayo to claim this spot after the draft… Iverson has seemingly mellowed over time without further medical assistance.
G Damon Stoudamire …Yes, he’s still playing. Sort of makes me nostalgic for the jail-blazers to see him wearing black again (this time for the Spurs)…
F Josh Howard …If you have any questions about pot, he’s perfectly willing to discuss it.
F Joakim Noah …Arrested in Gainesville, FL. Is he really that bored of Chicago already that he had to go back to college to party?
C Rasheed Wallace …Just look at the guy. Unfortunately, he might have been an all-time great if he cared just a little more…
Bench Marcus Camby, White Jason Williams
ALL TIME ALL-STONER TEAM … taking into account both the skill of the player and the level of the marijuana problem.
G JR Rider …Unfortunately will always be remembered for a slam dunk contest… and a kidnapping.
G Mookie Blaylock … Probably had to be high to enjoy being named Mookie.
F Shawn Kemp …The standard by which all NBA stoners are judged.
F Chris Webber …Is there anything this guy didn’t screw up at some point?
C Kareem Abdul-Jabbar … Beats out Robert Parrish because he’s Kareem.
Bench Robert Parrish, Charles Oakley, Cliff Robinson
Owner Mark Cuban
And finally… who must have been smoking up even if they were never caught? Could Pistol Pete have come up with some of those moves without assistance? Is there any doubt that Wilt Chamberlain smoked up before or after sex (keep in mind he played from 1960-1973). Is there any way Sam Cassell survived his stint with the Clippers without some weed?
If Josh Howard’s 60% estimate is anywhere near correct than these teams have a lot of potential for improvement.
Suggestions for the All-Stoner team or the All-Time All Stoner team? Post a comment… links to mugshots encouraged.
